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By: Stephen Bishop

As soon as upon a time, a younger downtrodden beekeeper, Fred, slogged up a mountain to go to a beekeeping monk. He was the wisest monk within the land, or at the least that’s what the billboard on the mountain path implied: “IN A FUNK, COME SEE THE MONK—WISEST MONK IN FAIRYTALE LAND!” learn the billboard. However the snappy promoting did little to perk up poor Fred. Sadly, Fred felt much more depressed as the trail snaked by means of a forest full of gnarly outdated sourwood timber—every tree a reminder of his horrible predicament.

“To beekeep or to not beekeep. That’s the query,” Fred thought to himself. Alas, his candy loving spouse, who as soon as inspired his beekeeping interest, had just lately reversed course and rendered an ultimatum: Both he quits beekeeping for a brand new interest that doesn’t contain extracting honey in her newly transformed cottage kitchen or she quits him and finds a brand new soulmate. Thus, Fred journeyed to hunt smart Brother Yart, a portly outdated monk whose depth of knowledge was rivaled solely by his breadth of waistline. The truth is, hood up, in brown monkish apparel, Brother Yart resembled a big woodland creature, particularly a bear. Which is why Fred shouted “Ye gads, a bear!” upon lastly reaching the anchorage and glancing over on the apiary within the yard.

“Good lord, you almost scared me to demise, sneaking up behind me like that!” mentioned the bear. In fact, a speaking bear in Fairytale Land isn’t too far-fetched, however on this case it was no bear, simply Brother Yart, who seemed like a bear and was working his bees. He was shocked to show round and see Fred watching him.

“You almost scared me to demise,” replied Fred. “I believed you have been a…”

“…bear—yeah I get that lots.” mentioned Brother Yart. “What can I do you for? Beekeeping recommendation, religious recommendation or bulk buy of sourwood mead? Bought a particular bundle value this week for those who’re taken with all three.”

“Wait, it’s a must to pay for recommendation?” requested Fred.

“Positive, how do you suppose I sustain this plush little anchorage. Beekeeping ain’t gonna pay the payments alone.”

“Wait, are you positive you’re the smart outdated monk that everyone talks about?”

“Yep, that’s me, Brother Yart, wisest monk in Fairytale Land.”

Reluctantly, Fred bought the beekeeping recommendation. However Brother Yart, upon listening to Fred’s dilemma, required Fred to purchase religious recommendation as properly. “Yep,” he mentioned, “something coping with soulmates is the religious realm.” To Brother Yart’s credit score, he gave Fred an intensive advisory session, counseling Fred on life priorities and saying such smart issues as, “Son, it’s higher to be liked by one lady than to maintain the corporate of many bees, plus divorce attorneys in Fairytale Land are fairly dear. Final 12 months, Snow White divorced Prince Charming and by the point the attorneys took their lower, Prince Charming was dwelling in his horse-drawn carriage.”

Certainly, the session lasted so lengthy that Fred turned fairly parched and requested refreshment to quench his thirst. Brother Yart obliged and offered Fred many foaming mugs of sourwood mead, after which Fred, probably impaired from his libations, mentioned,“Yart, buddy ole pal, you’re proper, I ought to donut, ha ha, I mentioned donut, I imply donate my hives to you… then stay fortunately ever after with my spouse.”

For a big man, Brother Yart might transfer quick, and he shortly retrieved his customary donation contract from his submitting cupboard and received Fred to signal over all his hives, proper earlier than the younger man stumbled and handed out.

“Stout stuff. Will get ‘em each time,” chuckled Brother Yart.

In fact, most youngsters suppose the ethical of this fairy story is to watch out for beekeeping gurus as a result of some are refined swindlers. And that will be the ethical if the story ended there. However sadly Fred hit his noggin laborious after his heavy ingesting and thereafter suffered sporadic bouts of amnesia. This explains why, when Fred later noticed what gave the impression to be a bear carrying away one in all his hives, he retrieved his shotgun and peppered Brother Yart with birdshot. And this explains why, milliseconds later, Brother Yart dropped the hive on his foot and was immediately enveloped in a cloud of indignant bees.

So the true ethical of this fairy story is, “Karma stings.”

Stephen Bishop retains bees in Shelby, NC. For the report, his spouse has not rendered an ultimatum, though honey extraction is now forbidden in his kitchen. You’ll be able to join his weekly weblog put up at misfitfarmer.com or comply with him on Twitter @TheMisfitFarmer.